May 13, 2026

Chapter Seven: Matters of the Heart


It was hard to explain what Alistair felt when he saw Elissa. When she first strode into the great hall, she was like some sort of thunder goddess, accompanied by her unkillable hound. Their entrance shook the room, and it was like being struck by lightning. All of him was awake, alive. Even his fingertips were tingling.

His breath caught in his chest as he headed to the kitchens. For a moment there, he feared he'd actually faint.
 
He couldn't say what it was. He wasn't sure. He didn't know if it was love, lust, worship, or all three. Elissa had a way about her, commanding fear and awe in equal measure. When they'd first met, her years of training already greatly surpassed his. And despite being the senior Warden in their party, everyone naturally deferred to her, including Alistair.
 
In battle, she had no rival. In decision-making, she brooked no hesitation. Her conviction was unyielding.

May 12, 2026

Chapter Six: Shadows of Highever

 
"Alistair, my friend," Fergus chuckled, shaking his head, "you are a terrible chess player."
 
"I didn't learn to play until I joined the Chantry!" the young Warden protested. "Need I remind you once again that I didn't have a noble upbringing?"
 
It was early winter's afternoon at Redcliffe Castle. They were sitting in the great hall, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the grandeur of the room. There were guards and servants present, so they couldn't speak openly about Alistair's parentage. Rather than press the issue, Fergus began to reset the board.
 
"Then I have much to teach you," he said. "I've been playing since I was six."
 
"How nice for you," Alistair replied, scowling slightly. "I was already working in the stables."

Chapter Five: Secrets of Redcliffe

Previously: Letters
 
"She's wintering at Soldier's Peak?" Alistair asked, blinking. He shivered. "I wish I could be there for her -- well, not there, exactly. I can only imagine the cold." He stabbed his fork into his mutton and began to cut it with a knife. "And don't get me started on the food."
 
Fergus Cousland offered a weak smile. These days, he took comfort in the oddly cheerful young Warden, even though he wasn't entirely sure what to make of him.
 
It was a ritual of theirs, dining together every evening in Fergus's room. As an honored guest, he was granted a suite of rooms. The Guerrin family was not as wealthy as the Couslands had been, and their castle was not as fine. But seeing as Fergus was cut off from his own resources, he was in no position to complain.

Chapter Four: Letters

Previously: Fall
 
5th of Justinian, 9:30 Dragon
 
My dearest brother,
 
I arrived in Ostagar after our castle fell to Arl Howe and his men. Duncan and I looked for you at once, but they said you were lost on a scouting mission. I wept for you, as I did for Mother, Father, Oren, and Oriana.
 
With the demon hordes drawing close, my Warden training began. Duncan entrusted me to a junior Warden named Alistair. He took me and two other recruits out into the wilds to hunt darkspawn as part of our initiation.
 
I don't know if you've ever seen darkspawn, but I can say they are indeed nightmare made flesh. They stank of blood and rot, and the unholy noises they made chilled my bones.
 
I  personally slew three of them. 

Chapter Three: Fall

Previously: Beauty
 
"When I first came home," Dairren confessed, as Elissa led him through the endless halls of Castle Cousland, "everything seemed smaller. Mother's carriage, my father's country estate... but I must say, your family castle is as massive as ever."
 
"How long were you in Orlais?" Elissa asked, walking slowly. She didn't want the conversation to end too soon. Dairren was the first and only boy to ever hold a special place in her heart, and now he was a man fully grown.

Chapter Two: Beauty

Previously: Duty
  
Elissa didn't sleep that night. She stared at the ceiling, unsure of what to think. She was irritable; she didn't like the way her father dismissed her. It was obvious Ferelden was about to go to war, most likely with darkspawn, and it was clear her father had no intention of letting her fight.
 
I could run away, she thought to herself. Running away had been on her mind for a very long time. The only thing was she had no idea what lay beyond Highever. She hadn't traveled much. She'd never had to hunt for her food, or haggle in a marketplace. She'd never fought someone actually trying to kill her.
 
They kept me ignorant, she grumbled. Probably thought it was the best way to get me to do what they want.

Chapter One: Duty

Previously: Politics
 
Elissa walked into her father's study to find him and Fergus standing with an old friend of the family, Arl Rendon Howe, and a tall, imposing warrior in full armor. Elissa's eyes widened and her breath caught in her chest as she realized she was standing just a few feet away from a real-life Grey Warden. Not a story, not a statue.
 
In the candlelight of her father's study, his armor gleamed. He was the tallest man in the room, and was like a being from another world. 
 
"Father," she interrupted haltingly, when no one noticed her entrance.
 
Bryce's eyes widened when he saw. He hastily glanced between her and the Warden. But before he could speak, Howe gestured for her to come closer. The Arl of Amaranthine was an older man, older than Bryce. His hair had long gone fully gray, but his eyes were still as icy blue as the sea in winter.

Prologue: Politics

Previously: Dramatis Personae
 
Terynir of Highever, Ferelden
9:30 Dragon 
 
It was evening at Castle Coustland. The winds blew in warm and wet from the Waking Sea, and the fading sun bathed the coast in shades of burnished red and gold. Spring was ending; as the month of Bloomingtide slowly drew to a close, summer's warmth began creeping in.
 
Elissa Cousland adjusted her armor; it was brand new and a tight fit, but still allowed a wide range of motion. She carried two long daggers strapped to her back. The blades were castle-forged steel set into dragon bone handles wrapped in leather. Though she trained with the daggers at least four hours a day,  Elissa had little use for them out here. Out here, nothing happened.

Into the Viper's Nest

Into the Viper's Nest is a Dragon Age: Origins fanfiction. It follows the canon storyline to an extent, with some major changes.

December 29, 2024

The Work Experience Girl

If you're not watching Black Doves on Netflix...I don't know what you're doing with your life. No, seriously.

Quick rundown, Keira Knightley portrays Helen Webb, a Black Dove. The Black Doves are spies who harvest intel and sell it to the highest bidder. Helen is married to a politician who doesn't know who she really is, so she's comfortably collected secrets for the past ten years.

There are a host of other wackier, much more interesting, and blessedly queer characters like Sam (Ben Whishaw), a gay triggerman pining for his ex, and the infamous lesbian triggerwomen No-First-Name Williams (Ella Lily Hyland) and Eleanor No-Last-Name (Elizabeth Creevey). Isabella Wei portrays Kai-Ming Chen, the heroin-addicted daughter of the recently slain Chinese Ambassador to Britain (she's also gonna be in Bridgerton Season Four!!!!).

February 18, 2024

Please Don't Reboot "Buffy". Reboot "Sunnydale" instead.


Ever since Dolly Parton said producers were still working on the Buffy reboot, something's been bugging me.

I was in Facebook group recently talking about The Vampire Diaries, and instead of the usual rants about what they did wrong, we were actually talking about the (few) things they got right. And I said I loved how they fleshed out the lore of Mystic Falls, which was one thing sorely missing about Sunnydale on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

What we know about Sunnydale reads like basic trivia: it sits on a Hellmouth, it's a demon magnet, and there are a handful of people and events we learn about over the course of the series, but nothing ever really feels fleshed out. Even worse, we often learned something specific for an episode that was never referenced before, then never referenced again. I found that particularly annoying.

Now, we're never going to recapture the magic of the original show, certainly not that special magic of the first three seasons. Buffy was the first of its kind in an era now long gone. We're not getting that time period back. So instead of trying to get that back, let's move forward. Step One: reboot the lore of the town and this time, properly flesh it out. The theme of that "one special girl in all the world" has been since done to death. I would keep the Hellmouth element, but instead of the rehashing the very tired Chosen One trope, just (re)introduce us to a town full of demon hunters who once drove the demons out, only for them to return.

And for the love of God, just bring back the original actors. We don't need new (read: younger) people. We just need to do right by the ones we already have.