Yeah, I'm Not Done Talking about Found

Previously: Not Enough People are Talking about NBC's Found (2023)

First off, congrats to the cast and crew of Found; they just got renewed for a second--and hopefully longer--season.

***SPOILERS***

But before I get into this, can we please deal with that headline from Collider?

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Say what now??? Who's in a "dark romance"? WHO is in a "dark romance"? Lol, now I know good and well y'all don't mean Gabi and Sir. See, this is precisely what's wrong with you people. This is why we can't have nice things.

Like...why? Don't get me wrong, the whole reason I'm writing this is to delve into the bizarre Gabi/Sir relationship, but it's not that kind of relationship. Is there chemistry? Of course. Shanola Hampton and Mark-Paul Gosselaar are two very attractive, age-appropriate actors with functioning eyes. But Gabi and Sir? Hell no.

"What Mark-Paul [Gosselaar] and I really enjoy playing with is this crazy chemistry," Hampton, who also serves as a producer of the freshman NBC drama, tells TV Guide. "People say this about their shows all the time: 'Oh, you've never seen this before.' And then you're like, 'Oh, I can name three other times.' But you get a chemistry between two characters [on Found] that is not sexual, and it's super, super weird. There's an obsession there. He loves her like a father. But no, not too much. But then, what is this thing that they're going through?! It's undefined, it's weird, it's sick, and it's gross, but I also cannot stop watching it — and that is different." (Source)

Now, I wouldn't characterize his love as fatherly either, but you get the gist.

In fact, I wouldn't call it love at all. Sir obsesses over Gabi much like the way Joe Goldberg obsesses over women in You. Both men have this weird preoccupation with the "purity" of women. For Joe, a "pure" woman is basically either a normal woman or some sort of damsel in distress, which would explain his pursuit of women who are either deeply damaged (Love, Marienne) or mind-numbingly dull (Natalie, Beck).

But for Sir, pure means pure. My favorite scene in the entire series so far is when Trent (Brett Dalton), Gabi's cop friend, tells her there's been a Sir sighting...in a strip club. She knows right away it's not Sir because 1) he's chained up in her basement, and 2) even if he wasn't, Sir wouldn't be caught dead in a strip club; he would never even step foot into such an "impure" establishment. Gabi and Lacey (Gabrielle Walsh) have a really good laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the idea. In fact, Sir is so obsessed with purity that at one point early in the season, he refuses to help Gabi on a case because the missing person is a sex worker.

Just like Joe Goldberg, Sir finds "impure" women perfectly expendable.

One of the great ongoing themes of the scenes with Gabi and Sir is the ethics, or lack thereof, in what Gabi's doing by holding Sir hostage. From a legal standpoint, she's clearly breaking the law. Obviously. The local police chief routinely refers to her and her associates as "vigilantes".

But things get a little murkier once you start debating the ethics, the morality of the situation. Sure, Gabi has him locked up. But he's fed, clothed, has a window and a comfortable bed, and she's technically using his powers for good. Gabi Mosely is famed for finding people better than law enforcement, to the point that they're starting to question how she's able to find missing people so quickly.

Personally, my only issue is that she chained Sir up in her house. It is my sincere, heartfelt opinion Gabi needs to get that man up out her basement. She should've locked him up somewhere else, far, far away from her home. Yes, the logistics would be complicated, but I don't think y'all are hearing me when I tell you how much he creeps me out.

See...uh-uh. We're not doing this.

From the very first episode, I felt the ick was hella strong with this show but this was the first time I came close to actually vomiting in real life. I was saying, "Hell no," right before she did.

Like...I'm a scribbler, not a speaker, but for Season 2, I might hop on YouTube and start a reaction channel just because of this show. Every time I think I've acclimated or that the writers have plateaued and can't freak me out anymore, Sir says or does something to make my flesh crawl in brand new ways.

Ma'am, get that man up out your house.

Now, I knew from trailer that the, "You want to be here, don't you?" line was coming, but it wasn't until I saw it in full context that the realization sent shivers up my spine. Fans are wondering how Sir could evade the authorities for 20 years yet somehow be captured by Gabi. I think the simple answer is that he wasn't. This is what he's wanted since the day she escaped: to be back under the same roof and able to see her every day. Probably skipped his happy ass right into that cell.

By the way, I couldn't find the excerpt where Sir first addresses the issue of "Heavy Boots" (Trent). Since he only can hear muffled sounds, Sir tries to deduce the who's who of Gabi's life and one time, he notices that Mr. Heavy Boots stays the night over. He has the audacity to question Gabi the morning after and demand to know if they've slept together. And this was where I first got the feeling that Sir definitely has some sort of warped sexual interest in Gabi. I'll concede that his emotions may be a little confused, mixed up in his head, seeing as he clearly has a sort of Madonna-whore complex, but I cannot believe his interest strictly platonic.

Also, I need people to stop feeling sympathy for this man. As a child? Sure. As a man? Hell no. Need I remind people that Sir kidnapped another girl before Gabi and she was never found? That he kidnapped Bella/Lacey WHILE he had Gabi? In fact, we don't know how long Sir was kidnapping young Black girls before Gabi, no doubt trying to find "the right one" (he did say something about being incompatible with the previous victim).

And speaking of Bella/Lacey....

Sir later tells Gabi that she's like him, not a killer, even though the victim right before her was never found, and he visibly enjoyed using that as a threat when Gabi was his hostage. I, for one, fully believe Sir is a murderer and that his did-I-or-didn't-I dance is just another one of his manipulations. Either way, this continues the central conversation between them: if Sir is a monster for kidnapping people, then what does that make Gabi?

If I were Gabi and he asked me, I'd simply reply, "I'm a monster...just like you," and let him sit with that. I wouldn't play holier-than-thou; I even bother justifying my actions. I would openly accept that we are both crazy, and it just is what it is.

One last thought before I go: I find it interesting that certain people are more readily accepting of these two--of all people--as a potential romantic couple than they are of Carmy and Sydney. We are literally experiencing an epidemic of missing Black women and girls, yet two struggling chefs are unrealistic while these two are somehow a match made in heaven. I mean, that headline didn't even hesitate this time, did it?

Just an observation.