Chapter Two: Beauty

Previously: Duty

  

Elissa didn't sleep that night. She stared at the ceiling, unsure of what to think. She was irritable; she didn't like the way her father dismissed her. It was obvious Ferelden was about to go to war, most likely with darkspawn, and it was clear her father had no intention of letting her fight.

 

I could run away, she thought to herself. Running away had been on her mind for a very long time. The only thing was she had no idea what lay beyond Highever. She hadn't traveled much. She'd never had to hunt for her food, or haggle in a marketplace. She'd never fought someone actually trying to kill her.

 

They kept me ignorant, she grumbled. Probably thought it was the best way to get me to do what they want.

 

And her parents were partly correct. Not knowing much about the real world was frightening. She'd never slept outdoors without a full camp of guards and a male relative nearby. If she snuck off to war, what if a soldier tried to rape her? What if she was kidnapped by slavers on the way? What if she was killed?

 

What if I were killed, she thought, and my family never knew because I died in a forest somewhere?

 

It would kill them, Elissa realized, and it made her heart sink. She could picture her father's devastated expression, and could hear her mother weeping.

 

If I run off now, it would distract them, she told herself. That would be selfish. It could get Fergus or my father killed.

 

So she pondered marriage to some wealthy lord. She tried picturing her wedding dress (Antivan, of course, chosen by her mother and likely costing a fortune). Elissa imagined spending her first night at someone else's castle, and bedding a complete stranger.

 

The thought made her want to run away all over again.

 

***

 

Elissa woke to the sound of her mother striding into her bedroom at first light and casting the curtains wide. The Teyrna was followed by maids carrying a large wooden tub, along with towels and a basket of flower petals.

 

"Time to get up, my dear," Leonor called, bright and cheery.

 

Elissa forced her dry eyes open. Groggily, she managed to mumble, "What... in the holy knickers of Andraste..."

 

"Don't blaspheme," Leonor chastised her daughter. She leaned over Elissa's bed to pull the covers back. "Arirana, bring something for her eyes. Those dark circles are abhorrent."

 

Elissa finally sat up, yawning. "Mother, what is going on?"

 

"We will be entertaining guests today," Leonor replied, going over to Elissa's wardrobe and perusing her dresses. "I forgot you even had these. You really should wear your gowns more often, Elissa."

 

Her daughter scowled. "I will not."

 

"You will," Leonor insisted, "and you will not argue. Your father and I have decided that in your brother's absence, we will need you to start fulfilling your duties."

 

That piqued Elissa's interest. "In my brother's absence?" she asked. "So it's true then? There's to be a war."

 

Leonor's enthusiasm dimmed. "The King has summoned all armies to Ostagar and Fergus will be leading our men, yes."

 

"I should be by his side!" Elissa protested.

 

"You should be by my side!" Leonor countered. The room briefly stilled at her outburst, but then the maids resumed, and Elissa jumped out of bed. She padded over to her mother.

 

"Mother, I'm a better fighter than Fergus," she insisted.

 

"Yes," Leonor conceded, nodding, "but you're not a leader. A leader first learns to follow, and you don't know how to do that unless it suits you."

 

"You already have your perfect son!" Elissa exclaimed. "You have your perfect Antivan daughter, and your perfect grandson! What need do you have of me, Mother? Really, what else can I possibly do besides disappoint you further?"

 

Leonor stared at her for a moment, breath heavy, nostrils flaring. She looked at the maids and barked a single order: "Out."

 

When they were alone, she turned back to her daughter. "Fergus may die in battle, and if not, Oriana can no longer bear children. That is too much pressure to place on an eight-year-old boy, who could fall sick and die, fall off his horse and die, or be poisoned and die."

 

Elissa stared at her mother, dismayed. "This isn't Antiva, Mother," she said quietly.

 

Leonor laughed. The sound was unusually harsh and brittle. "Ignorant child," she said. "That is everywhere. You've read about Grey Wardens, but have you read about countries after they've survived the Blight? Entire families, villages, even cities -- all wiped out. People starving, noble houses at each other's throats, usurpers lying in wait. We have reached a very dangerous place, so when I say get up, get bathed, and get dressed, it is not a request or polite suggestion. It is a command from your Teyrna in a time of war."

 

She walked back to the wardrobe and pulled out two gowns. "Now which do you prefer... blue? Or pink?"

 

***

 

As she stiffly walked out to the gardens, Elissa was reminded of just how much loathed dresses. Her corset was digging into her ribs and threatening to suffocate her, but she couldn't think about that now. All around her, servants and guards were rushing. She overheard soldiers talking about writing farewell letters to their families, while senior servants discussed stocking enough supplies to last as long as possible.

 

Elissa's heart thudded in her chest. She wanted to be of service, as any good warrior would. She tried to tell herself that this was her battlefield, and she had to conquer it in the name of her family.

 

But she saw an already drunk Lady Landra lounging across from her mother, Elissa immediately wished she was off somewhere fighting darkspawn.

 

"Here she is," Leonor greeted with false cheer. "Landra, you haven't seen my daughter in a while have you?"

 

"It's been ages," Landra groaned, sitting upright long enough to reach over and refill her own wine goblet. She gave Elissa a once over. "By Andraste, you've grown, girl. And beautiful, too! Why aren't you married already?"

 

"Until recently, she's been focusing on her studies," Leonor hurriedly answered. "But now she's ready to join proper society."

 

Elissa took a seat next to her mother and tried not to shift around uncomfortably.

 

Landra raised a carafe with an unstable hand. "Wine, my dear?" she offered.

 

"No, thank you, my lady," Elissa replied. She didn't add, It's too early for me. 

 

"My son is taking a turn around your lovely gardens," Landra said, slurring slightly. "Do you remember my son Dairren?"

 

Elissa blinked, caught off guard. She wondered why she hadn't made the connection sooner. "Why... yes, my lady," she replied, glancing to her mother and back. "I-I do remember Dairren."

 

He was nice to her when they were small and all the other children -- Fergus included -- mocked her missing teeth and unruly hair.

 

"He's been studying in Orlais," Landra told them. "His father sent him off to be fostered at some noble house in Jader. Tiresome people," she grumbled. "They sent him back all silk-swaddled and flower-scented."

 

Elissa recalled Dairren being a calm, well-behaved boy who showed refinement at an early age, even more so than Fergus. It was nice to hear he hadn't changed in that regard.

 

As though on cue, he arrived. Elissa's breath caught; it was like he was moving in slow motion through the air, with stray petals in the wind. He'd grown tall and shockingly handsome, considering neither of his parents were known for their looks.

 

Elissa was on her feet before her mother even asked. "My lord," she said, blinking as though in disbelief.

 

Dairren was surprised to see her as well. He stopped to take her in, as though also disbelieving. "Elissa?"

 

She nodded, trying to ignore her pounding heart. "It's been years."

 

"Feels like another lifetime," he said. He had light brown hair and his mother's dark amber eyes. His accent was still Ferelden and proper, but lightly tinged with an Orlesian inflection. And he smelled remarkable.

 

"Lady Landra and I need to catch up," Leonor suddenly told them. "Elissa, show Dairren his room."

 

For what seemed to be the first time in her life, Elissa nodded and wordlessly obeyed her mother. Amused, Landra watched the young people go.

 

"Are you sure you want to leave those two alone?" she drawled.

 

Leonor finally poured herself a goblet of wine. "If something untoward happens, it will only hasten things along."

 

Next: Fall